white without moonlight

built to spill

"All day I turn the pages of two or three good

books that cost plenty to set down and

even more to live by and all day I turn

over my best thoughts, each one

as heavy and slow to flow as a stone

in a field of wet and tossings flowers."

-Mary Oliver-

rhine wine, car horn

in the future when all's well

Today was a pretty sad day in that I discovered the polaroid camera I just bought got broken somehow. I live like a hermit in the middle of nowhere and only occasionally get drunk by myself, so I have no idea how I could have broken the damn thing. It was dope too. It looked like this:

and as you can see, the thing sort of folded down onto itself.. What was so cool about it (aside from it oozing style..) was that you can/could actually focus the lens, either automatically or manually, which made the photos come out super sharp, and on exactly What you wanted to be sharp, instead of the usual crap-shoot with the standard polaroid cameras.. Plus I scored the damn thing off craigslist for a song, while they're going for 1-2 hundo on ebay.. Crap.
and it's kinda like two bummers in one, since They Are Not Making Polaroid Film Anymore and I'd intended to shoot a ton of it with this thing while it's still only 16 dollars a fucking pack,(i know, it's already insane.. just wait 1 year from now and check polaroid film prices on ebay..) and I still will, but it looks like I'm back to the crapshoot just like everyone else..

Anyway, shoot it while you got the chance. There's nothing like polaroid film.

Another thing.. Ryan McGinley's photos are amazing. Go look at them.

how soon is now?

NICE JOB CRAIG!

How do you do it? You race 'cross on a track bike, and race crits on a cyclecross bike..Maybe it's just that you love to haul bikes. Cheers bro!

.

fourth time around

Do you know these people?

They work a Lot. They don't throw parties. They don't go out much, and when they do it's usually to the woods. They've been living in the same small house on a quiet island in the Northwest for the last 28 years. Don't feel bad if you haven't seen them with your own eyes.. Coming across these unique creatures in person is rare indeed.

I, however, by some bizzare stroke of fate, have been running into them my entire life. In fact, I can't recall very many moments, especailly when I was younger, when I wasn't exposed to their presence constantly. Can you imagine?

Sightings have become less fequent over the years however, even for me, and I must honestly say that while their presence was at first burdensome, it has now become strangely missed. So I do consider it my good fortune that they wandered out of their normal habitat for part of this past weekend and spent some time with me here in OR. They took it easy, just scoped out the town, ate some big meals and caught up on missed convos.

People say that youth is foolish becuase it doesn't recognize what it has, or the real possibility of losing it. This may be true, but I'm more interested in finding out exactly when and why we suddenly do understand. I can't pin it down myself, can't specify a day, but as foolish and reckless as I still choose to be with my own life, I know full well how lucky I am for the kind of visit I was just graced with.

The person who doesn't scatter the morning dew will not comb grey hairs

The second of the quarter's ten weeks is already nearly finished. 20% sounds substantial, but it's nothing. It's like saying traveling from Seattle to NYC is 10 hours, where 2 of it is the travel time to and from the airport, or layover time between flights. The Real travel time is when you're just sitting on your ass, unmoving in the damn airplane.

I haven't even gotten to the gate yet..


But the repetion and routine of school are already starting to get to me, even if the educational material is enlightening. I haven't yet quite figured out how to fit things like daydreaming into my schedule in any sort of cathartic or satisfactory way. During the quarter all of my actions and thoughts inadvertantly become methodical for the sake of maximizing efficiency, and as a result, all of the random possibilities, all the curious things that make our days interesting, often go unnoticed. (and unphotographed)


But that's nothing to complain about. Growing up is learning that you've got to live with more compromises that you'd ever thought you could accept. Being fucking alive is finding the ways in between all that shit to still be random, stoked, humored, intrigued infatuated, innocent and young. Here's to the ever evolving search.





















I don't have any classes in this last room, I just like that it's the only room on campus that I know of that has a huge photograph on the wall. Doesn't it make you want to pretend..?

ps. I'm going to shoot someone, either blogger.com or myself, if I can't figure out how to get the formatting right.. All the photos are cattywompus and the text is fucking anywhere but where I try to put it.. whatever.

Il faut que jeunesse se passe..

"Youth must have it's fling.."

I feel like frankenstein, putting this thing together in my garage, piece by piece.
and it's so close..

gentleman and scholar

"I see myself as a road man for the lords of karma,
and I'm not afraid of my assignment."
-HST

coney island of the mind

dipping his pen in the company ink..

What did I do today?
I woke up early and met the people who own this van..

.
Since the ol' Honda is on the way out, I've been looking for something to get around in once it's gone, and earlier this week I noticed the for sale sign in this van. 1500 bucks. And it's only got 140,000 miles on it.
I wanted it. Have been imagining it being mine all week. Have been going over the steps of making it mine. But finally, after sleeping on it this last night, I knew it would be fun at first, but become a fucking nightmarish money pit soon enough.
But, I kept the 10:30 am appointment to test drive it anyway.

And for 45 wonderful minutes this morning the van really was mine. I drove straight out of town, and let my ears fill with the relaxing sounds of some classical am station, mixed with the muffled rattle of the engine beneath the floor in the back. I filled my eyes with the blur of rainy acres of pasture land passing me by and the foggy dark outlines of trees on the hills, all more real and immediate through the giant front windshield and the seat, right up front, leading the way to wherever. I fell immediately into a trance. For a little while, I wasn't pretending. I had all the senses of being in a life far away and totally unconnected. Peacefully traveling to new places unknown. Totally free.

"And everyday is Saturday my friend
Go to sleep wake up
yo! its Saturday again!"

'yee haw' is not a foreign policy

What's more ridiculous, in a town that's so small, you can be out of it in 10 minutes in any direction;

Getting in your car to drive somewhere,

or

Winning a commuter of the month contest ?

.

And thank you, First Alternative Coop.. I put that 10 dollar bike shop gift certificate to good use. And yes, I Do enjoy the stress-free life of cruising around Corvallis, as well as the Pacific Northwest weather. And long walks on the beach..

.

"Hey, did you make that frame?.."

"Hell yes, these dudes welded it in their garage.."

commence, at the commencement

Bee hives.

And there were a Lot of bees.

I could almost make a beard of bees..